I remember a moment where I was utterly taken, delighted to the point of bursting into rhythmic patter. It was a bright, hot day in July and I had an experience of transcendent charm.
I’m not shy; I’m a conversation starter. I was speaking with a young boy in a park. Another boy, about eight years old, or so, heard me speaking, and the cadence of my speech caught his imagination. He repeated what I said, I think to savour what he heard, the way some people repeat a good punch line to themselves. And he did it playfully, not mockingly.
It was flattering. We made eye contact. There was a spark between us that was a silent “GO!” I responded with a rhyme. He copied my rhythm and raised my rhyme. I added a clap. This little show went on much longer than I thought could be sustained… and the other children present ping-ponged their wide eyes between us. It was one of those we-couldn’t-have-planned-it-better moments. Pure fun. Sheer delight. Glowing charm. I wanted to kiss his cute, chubby face a hundred times, but kept my cool and ended it with a high-five. (So unsatisfying!)
What makes someone charming? With my reticular activation primed, I began noticing that behind authentic charm is confidence. As in the case of the charming boy, his confidence allowed him to fearlessly step wholly into a moment of playfulness and connection. Those few minutes we shared have often come to mind over the past 14 years. I’m reminded to be free and unafraid, willing to take a risk and go with the flow.
Besides confidence, I think real charm has an inherent innocence that includes humility and lack of self-consciousness. Pulling the veil back on innocence, I get to a natural, unforced connection to the divine. I believe charm is channelled by the pure of heart. Charming moments may possibly be heaven winking at us.
Exploring charm, I thought I saw it used for power. It seemed to sway wills and opinions, stop a train of thought and prevent coherent speech. But then again, if its power has negative consequences, perhaps it’s not really charm; it’s manipulation, using the mechanics of charm. Step one: Smile. Step two: Show interest in the other person. Step three: Launch your agenda. No, this can’t be charm.
A bit of magic, a lucky token… both are included in the definition of charm. And I can’t help but link them back to channelling something greater. When people experience magic and luck, they refer to sources (arguably) outside themselves. I still see it as a connection to a pure energy source that has the capacity to attract, captivate, endear and engage.
In the energy psychology healing work I do, I have clients come with issues of all kinds – from childhood trauma to recent accidents. No one has ever specifically come to increase her level of charm. But – the surprising side benefit of clearing trauma and stuck emotions can include the unveiling of one’s innate charm. Feeling free of the past, letting go of harmful habits and negative thinking patterns – all this improves one’s confidence, happiness, outlook on life and general health. A confident, happy, positive, healthy person is the kind of person who exudes authentic charm.
A moment of charm lifts everything and everyone. It lifts spirits and moods, and the heavy cloak that sometimes covers us. Charm evokes the sweetest, most sincere smiles. It often results in laughter. It is vitalizing, graceful, heartfelt and humble. It can feel like your insides are relaxed while a sparkling, shimmering joy is bubbling to the surface. Charm lets in the light. While basking in charm, we remember connection and pleasure. It is a perk of being alive.
Wishing you a lifetime of soul-satisfying charm.
Sophia Zoe is a Toronto-based Energy Therapist with an international practice. Using her intuitive edge and vast toolbox of healing techniques, Sophia facilitates meaningful transformation, empowering people who want to make positive changes for a better life. By connecting to energy fields, Sophia acquires information that allows her to help people and pets around the world. Clients seek help with life transitions, physical health, trauma clearing and elimination of harmful habits. The most common statement made by clients after a course of treatment is: “I didn’t know I could be so happy!”