Meditation, compassion, Parvati

How to Connect with Your Natural Compassion

The great teachers through the ages have emphasized the importance of compassion on the spiritual path. It is not just a sweet sentiment, but a deep awareness that takes us beyond our small self and connects us with infinite love.

Compassion is born in our being when we rest in the knowing of our inherent oneness with all that is. It flowers as our ego dies and we are born into the reality of our eternal Self. It is a divine nectar that flows effortlessly when we are willing to let go of the stories that keep us feeling separate, important and ultimately alone.

As your heart continues to bloom and you release the grip of your ego, here are some powerful thoughts I ask you to consider. Find a quiet place and allow yourself to go deeper with these:

Say to yourself with conviction and power: “Everyone wants to be loved.”

Repeat this a few times and let it sink in. Let yourself rest into the truth of these words. Then state:

“Everyone wants to be loved. And everyone fears they will not be loved.”

Contemplate this for a bit, and then contemplate it some more. Breathe it in. Let it resonate.

“Everyone wants to be loved and everyone fears they will not be.”

Apply that thought to someone who pushes your buttons, perhaps your boss. Think of him or her that way, just wanting love, fearing he or she will not be. Then think of how you want to feel loved. Perhaps, you two are not that different.

Think of your mother or father that way, just wanting love, fearing they will not be. Try to feel the fear your parents have, and know that you too feel the same. Perhaps you are not so different. The love you seek is also the love they want. Your fear that you won’t find love is the very same fear they have.

Think of your friends and other family members in the same way. See the way they hope for love, the way they feel disconnected from love, the way they do love. Where is the love in all these relationships? In which way do you love?

What if it is not so much about how much love you get, but about what you give? When you recognize yourself in others—the fears, the hopes, the desires for love— and you can see you are not that different, then love can blossom, like a flower from the mud. You are left full, feeling connected and loved, even in the face of adversity.

Now think of yourself. Touch that place of “I just want to be loved, and I fear I will not be.” It is deep. It has likely been there for a very long time. Perhaps it was exacerbated by your mother, or your father, or someone else. But it is a belief you carry. No one made it. It is yours. If it is yours, then you can heal it. Since you are the one holding on to it, you can let it go.

In my experience, we all have a deep place within where we fear that we will not be loved. Sometimes, around that raw and fragile feeling, is the feeling of vacant hopelessness. But this will not last. Beyond all these painful, dry, and desolate places is a fountain of unending love. The goodness of life is within even the most desolate times if we allow ourselves to settle in and open, patiently, to the flowering spring. The force of life emerges again and again, without compromise. It simply is. Beyond our fear of not being loved, is love. In our fear of not being loved, is love. Around our fear of not being loved, is love. The fear itself is love, as it shows us our very humanity, our potential for openness, receptivity to that which I would simply call grace, the force that is beyond our ego’s grasp and comprehension.

When we are willing to rest, in stillness, quietly, without fighting, with this fear of not being loved, we find tremendous creativity. It is in some ways the linchpin of the psyche that moves us from the grip of the ego into a place of oneness and compassion. Rest there, and you will find love, and all will change.

Parvati is an award-winning musician (I Am Light, Electro Yog, Yoga In The Nightclub), yogini (YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine), author (Aonani of Avalon, Three Supreme Secrets for Lasting Happiness) and founder of the not-for-profit All her work is dedicated to protecting all life on Earth by establishing the Marine Arctic Peace Sanctuary (MAPS).More info: